Dont want to be rude but really didn't find the "hey if I say 'fuck' it will be funny" routine funny since 2007
like if you say something like "fuck you, you piece of shit" it has to have weight and the way this is presented the only joke is "what if the guy at best buy said that to me, that would be pretty wacky, right?" and it just falls flat cause I (the viewer) doesn't know or care why this person is being called a piece of shit. I know this website had people like Oney and Psyhicpebbles come from here and they were seen to kinda have that humor but their style had a punch cause they would start a joke with you kinda getting to know and feel for the characters then go into the getting shitted on.
like why is he saying "fuck you" does he hate his job? does he not like the guy who walked in? does he not like macs?
I know im taking the piss out of this joke but its just I dont see how this is comedy. like you dont have to tell me the dudes backstory but I want to know the dudes motive or why he was reacting like that. and I know how this can be chalked up to "oh, this dude just doesn't get it lol" but I feel like you can improve and there is potential here cause how this looks is great, the flow was great, just delivery and joke was overall eh.
hey i'm just letting you know that i didn't plan any of this or write a script. the sole purpose of making this was to see if i could make a short cartoon in a night and i did. i appreciate the feedback on the lack of comedic value honestly, because it was just cheap humor. I'm really trying to expand my horizons on writing and technique.
lighten up a little bit and don't dig so deep! you sound like my father!
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